


some vast unnameable fear

by CommanderMollyOBrien



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Frank discussions about mental illness and depression in Medieval Words, Gen, I really appreciate comments and kudos, Kidnap Dads, Mental Illness, Stress Baking, The word cinnamon roll is starting to lose all meaning now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:47:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28318458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommanderMollyOBrien/pseuds/CommanderMollyOBrien
Summary: A family discussion, of a kind. Set very early in the twins' time with the House of Feanor, before the rise of the Evening Star.Title from No Choir by Florence + the Machine.
Relationships: Elrond Peredhel & Elros Tar-Minyatur, Elrond Peredhel & Elros Tar-Minyatur & Maedhros | Maitimo, Elrond Peredhel & Maedhros | Maitimo, Elros Tar-Minyatur & Maedhros | Maitimo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 32





	some vast unnameable fear

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Cilantro Incident and Other Vignettes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25897012) by [JazTheBard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JazTheBard/pseuds/JazTheBard). 



"Do you two want cinnamon rolls?" Maedhros asked, a bit awkwardly. 

The twins, understandably, looked very confused as to why their captor was offering them desserts. 

When it seemed no explanation was going to come, Elrond asked, "Why do you have cinnamon rolls? Is there a holiday no one's told us about? And why are you giving them to us?"

Maedhros shrugged, "There isn't really an occasion. I was very stressed, so I made cinnamon rolls. And now I have more cinnamon rolls than I can eat."

The twins, if possible, seemed even more confused.

"You make cinnamon rolls when you're stressed?" Elros said, as though saying it would make it make more sense. 

"Not specifically cinnamon rolls," Maedhros replied, feeling a bit ridiculous, "Look, sometimes people's minds can get sick. My mind is sick right now, and I'm trying to get better. Sometimes I get moods when I feel as if everything I do is pointless and nothing good is ever going to happen again. And making things helps get me out of those moods, so I made cinnamon rolls. I know it's not very rational, but having a sick mind means a lot of things aren't very rational."

Elrond asked, sounding more curious than confused, "How does someone's mind get sick?"

Maedhros sighed, "I used to be a prisoner of the Enemy. Ever since then, I've had good days and bad days, but this sickness will never go away. But someone's mind can become ill in other ways, because they're in a bad situation, or because they did something they regret very much, or sometimes for no reason at all."

The twins looked frightened. Maedhros cursed internally. Of course he shouldn't have told that to children that were already in a terrible situation.

He momentarily wished that he hadn't poured out all of his moonshine and started looking for something to do other than drink when the creeping despair set in. Then he regretted the thought instantly. He _had_ to get better, at least while the twins were here. He couldn't hurt them any more. 

"Are we going to get sick?" Elros finally asked.

"No, you are not," Maedhros did his best to appear reassuring, "I'm sure your parents will be here to pick you up in a few months. You're going to be fine. I'm not going to hurt you like- well, I'm not going hurt you."

The twins looked, if not comforted, then at least less frightened. 

Elrond shrugged and took a cinnamon roll. 

He muttered a word in Sindarin that his mother had insisted that he never use and said, sounding outraged, "This is a really good cinnamon roll."


End file.
